Another one?

Another school shooting in the US.

What is it going to take for that country to install some kind of fucking gun law?!

After Australia was host to one of the worst shooting massacres in world history, this happened: http://edition.cnn.com/WORLD/9605/10/aussie.gun.control/

I understand why people say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" - but why do they make it so easy for someone to decide to kill, the proceed to walk into a store and buy one over the counter?!!?!?

Geez... I just don't get it. Someone please explain it to me...

Links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Arthur_massacre

These unhealthy little devils will be the death of me!!!!!!!!

Dear lord, they are soooooooooooo good. It really annoys me how good they are.

My health food diet (bawahahaahahahah muaahahahahahaha!!!!!) suffers so greatly because of these tempting, delicious, sexy, yummy biscuits.

Oh god, listen to me. I think I’m getting aroused.

Grand Final Fever

It's grand final week here in my beloved Melbourne.

And I tell ya what, you either love it, or you hate it.

There is absolutley no in between.

Granted, we live in a city where AFL football is a type of religion, there are still 5% of people that would rather be watching Germaine Greer recite fucking Wuthering Heights, word for word.

I of course, am not one of those people.

For most Aussie families, Grand Final day is much like Christmas Day, I kid you not.

Some of my earliest memories are from Grand Final day BBQ's. The whole family would come to eat, drink (a lot), laugh at the cringe-worthy, truly embarassing pre-match performances and scream at the TV like a bunch of mental patients. Of course, if the team you barrack for is good enough to make the final - you would be a little more sombre, and VERY serious. I have seen grown men blubber like babies when their team has been defeated in the GF. Of course, if both teams competing have no effect on your emotions whatsover, you make the day a little more exciting by starting a betting ring. Who will kick the first goal? Who will get injured first? Which coach will crack under the pressure first? Half time scores? Who will win?

Unfortunetley, this year is again between West Coast and Sydney. Two non-Victorian teams. I could not give a fuck who wins. But it is a great day regardless.

I live quite far from my family, so this year will be spent with friends at probably one of the many pubs that are opening at 9am. I have yet to make plans... and that makes me a little nervous. I can explain why, with the many reason why GF day is also a great big pain in the ass.

1) Blocked off streets + drunken pedestrians = traffic nightmare.
2) Trying to get a cab at anytime on grand final day is like trying to a hail a cab at 1am on New Years.
3) Bottle shops run out of beer. I am not kidding.

So I had better decide what I'm doing and fast! Otherwise, I will be having a party for one!

Flash Beer Ad

Wish List

My birthday is slowly creeping up on me.

It's still 6 weeks away - but close enough for me to get excited.

Here are a few things on my wish list:

Chanel Coco Mademoiselle Perfume

A very expensive, fabulous haircut. Preferably done by a flaming poof. They do good hair, ok.

A new TV. Preferably flat screen LCD.

A BBQ.

The whole series of Scrubs, Boston Legal, Family Guy, American and British versions of The Office on DVD. Well, illegal cable will do.

Silk PJ pants and an eye mask.

A puppy. Named Bob.

__

See, I'm not high maintenance at all!!!

No actually - all I REALLY want for my birthday is to have a fantastic time with family and friends, with great food and a whole lotta booze.

And Coco Chanel perfume.

__

SOMETHING NOT ON MY WISH LIST FOR MY BIRTHDAY ------

An exam at 9am!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AAAAARRRRGH!!! A conspiracy I tells ya. Fuckers.

So everyone, think of me at 9am on the 8th of November. Weeping and vomiting into my exam paper....

People being fined for annoying ring-tones - The Chaser

Chaser's War on Everything - Stocking Shopper

It's the little things...

Now that I have moved to a new house, I have a roommate.
Previously I was living on my own in a little one-bedroom apartment.
I loved it, but it was just too expensive.

In the few short weeks I have spent here, I have noticed a big difference lifestyle when you share with someone.
I'm aware that it is something I will get used to over time.

Here are a few things that have changed:

No more – Singing “I’m too sexy” and “Fuck the police” in the shower at the top of my lungs.

No more – “YGF's National No Knickers Day”

No more – Making slippery dips with dishwashing liquid on the kitchen tiles. Sliding across in my socks screaming “Boo Yah Bitches!!”

No more – loud sex.

No more – Beer and chicken wings night in front of the telly, watching naughty late night movies on SBS. My naughty movie commentary is second to none, ask anyone!

No more - beer and chicken wings nights in front of the telly, watching the footy, screaming like a retarded country hick.
She doesn't like sport! Who doesn't LIKE SPORT?!?!?!

No more – scaring the neighbours by playing Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath my Wings” as louds as my stereo goes, while prentending to cry, really loudly.

No more - rescuing stray animals and feeding and loving them. Probably not a good idea considering, (at my old place) two cats and a dog would wait at the front gate until I got home, for some cuddles and a little food. They disappear soon after, and provide such a warm welcome home. But she doesn't like animals. WHO DOESN'T LIKE ANIMALS?!?!

MORE of - buying groceries that magically disappear after I have brought them.

MORE of - cooking dinner for everyone - she is so domestically challenged, it's not funny.

MORE of - bitching. Man, that chick can bitch!

DESPITE ALL OF THIS.
It's all good.

I just wanted something to bitch about.

You loved it.

Don't pretend you didn't.

Boo Yah Bitches!

Worth every second

The weekend was fantastic, but I aint feeling so crash hot.
Saturday night was great, with a bar opening function early on and a rooftop party in the city later.

The bar opening was ok, if it wern't for the free drinks and canapes, I probably would have run away screaming. Some people are just so UP THEMSELVES!

The party was brilliant. We were 15 floors up, they had old movies projected to the buildings across the road.
I didn't know anyone but I was too wasted to care.

Wasted.

So wasted.

Here is an example of how I felt the next day.


This is a shot of me, BEFORE I drank about 6 jugs of beer, 4 cosmopolitans, 25 vodka tonics and 75 martinis.
* and I swear there was something a little "funky" magically appearing in my drinks.



And this was me the next day.




I still feel SO ill. But the night worth every second of head thumping, nauseating, sucicidal thinking, general feeling like shit Sunday. That day was a total waste. But I did get to watch See Spot Run on telly. What a crack up. A total piece of shit of a movie, David Arquette is a tool, but god damn I laughed. Maybe I was still high. I also managed to eat an unhealthy amount of KFC. My thighs are very upset with me.

It was worth the "cab-share" ride home with a transvestite named Honey Potts - whom kept calling me "Sugar Puss" and flirting with the cab driver. The cabbie was loving very second of it, and I rolled out onto the pavement, head first in a drunken stumble, just in time. Just. in. time.

J wasn't too happy when I showed up on his doorstep at 2am.
But got his good mood back, when I suggested skinny dipping.

It's Monday now. At least I think it is.
I still feel out of it.

But, it was all so worth it.

Aussie Ads

Some of my fave Aussie Ads - enjoy.
Work/study is kickin my ass at the moment, write more when I get the chance.

In the meantime, take a look! And why not tell me how much you miss me... I might come back for some loyal reader lovin!

YGF x


Big Ad for Carlton Draught



Telstra Bigpond - this kid is adorable
Telstra Ad


Bundy Ad
The Red Sock - Bundaberg classic ad with Bundy bear

WTF??

No-one does weird like the Japanese!

Note to loyal blog readers, If you ever get mugged:

1: Act like you care, by squirming and screaming like a weirdo.
2: Rip of your clothes, Clark Kent style to reveal ghastly, tight little shorties and boob tube. Complete with scrunched socks and tennis shoes.
3: Do aerobics while singing about how the mugger can "Take anything you want", "Spare me my life!" and finally "I was robbed by two men!".
4: Repeat each phrase 16 times.
5: Smile!

If you don't believe me, check this out!

Zuiikin English : Sankakukin Trouble


What the fuck is this!?!? I'm not sure if I want to laugh, cry or vomit.

Steve the Mad Hatter

Steve Irwin is dead.

Oh yes. You know who he is. Don't pretend you don't.

And no, it wasn't a deranged crocodile that had had a gut-full of his prancing around like a chook with it's head off.

It was a sting ray at the Great Barrier Reef.

Crikey!

Poor Steve. In my opinion, he was a fucking mental patient. He damaged Australia's reputation much like Paul Hogan did in the 80's. Dangled small infants in front of 10 ft crocodiles. And was generally, well, damned annoying.

But he did do good things. Such as wildlife and environment protection, quarantine education and generally educating us brain dead Aussies about how that brown snake you found in your back shed WILL kill you if you look twice at it.

On ya Steve. You crazy loon.

House pics

Below are pics of my new place. It's still pretty bare, and quite messy, but that's what moving is all about!












My room - Bed is still on the way - but you get the idea.


And us, being silly.