The Big Poo

Mark Philipousis.

Australian.

Tennis Player - who used to be border-line good, but sucks the majority of the time.

Womaniser.

Fuck-tard.

The scud, the poo, the big poo, whatever your nickname is for him - he is a fucking wanker.

It took me a long time to come to this conclusion and even longer to admit it.

Do you know why?

I used to be completley and utterly in love with him.
When I was 13, he was my future husband. I asked him to marry me once, I was in a crowd of thousands at the Australian Open. He must not have heard me. Cos I'm sure he would have said yes. Haha.

Strike 1 - He can't win a match to save his life. Aussies suck at tennis. He was a good hope. Then he was fucking hopeless.

Strike 2 - He fucked Paris Hilton and Tara Reid. I mean, geez dude. You could stick it to anyone and you choose to fuck the worlds biggest whores. I'm sure it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway. Good work.

Strike 3 - This "The Bachelor" style reality TV show, set in the US. How could you? You are a fucking idiot. Everyone thinks so. The ratings agree.

All I can say is, even those you lost the Wimbledon hopes of a nation, you have now lost the respect of a nation. Not that you had much.

I can safely say that next time you set foot in this country, someone will egg/fruit/bash the living fuck out of you.

Cheers.