Australia Day

Good fun was had by all. Some of us had a little too much fun!

Happy Australia Day!

Tomorrow is Australia Day! Hooray!
To the few Aussie lurkers, who read and don't comment - Happy Australia Day Mate!!!

YGF has a few tips for the big day!


Be careful at the beach kiddies. And if you find yourself half way down a great white shark's throat - Poke him in the eye.
Like this guy: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/freed-from-jaws-of-death/2007/01/24/1169594363635.html


Next, beware of this little fuckers who are showing their slimy faces in our backyards at an alarming rate. Including mine. Make sure you keep your pets inside as much as possible. My dog was lucky I was near by a shovel last night. Or it would have been bye bye Bonnie.

Finally, have a great day! Drink, be merry and appreciate being part of the greatest country in the world!
Just beware that although we live in a gorgeous, stunning, blessed part of the earth, all the animals seem to want to chow down on us and take over the country.

I'll leave you with a much cuter pic of some of the koalas that have been rescued from the bush after the fires. Their little paws are burnt. Awwwwwwww.



And here is something that is highly embarassing, but god damn funny!
http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml

3 day weekend here I come! In T minus: 3hrs 25mins....

Oooooo it feels good baby....

So, yesterday I paid off both my credit cards and cancelled them... and I officially own my car.

The bank doesn't own me baby!

I am completely debt free!!!

It feels fabulous, I highly recommend it.

Like the weight of a thousand sumo wrestlers has been lifted from my shoulders.

Aaaaahhhh... nice. Now when I begin saving for a house or a working holiday, I won't just be hording money. I will actually be saving.

Saving??! Me!?!? I never thought it would be possible!

Next step: get to the UK and start earning some real cash. Maybe I can find some babies to shake, or some beer to pour... hmmmmm, the possibilites are endless!

The day Melbourne turned into Bedrock....

Remember that really hot day I was bitching and moaning about??

Turns out, we lost electricity to almost the entire city in the afternoon.
That of course means no air conditioning, no trains, no traffic lights. Hoorah! It was the most fun I've ever had I tells ya!

On a lighter note:

It's Friday!!!

So grab a beer and act like an idiot!! It's fun!

Walking out of my air conditioned office building today, felt like walking into a wall of flames.
It's a sad day when it's just TOO STINKIN HOT to even go to the beach!

And as always, the weather man got it wrong. They are now suggesting it will climb to 43C before the storms hit.

An Australian summer is always memorable, even if you temporarily forget due to collapsing with sunstroke/dehydration/ 3rd degree burns.

Moving sucks... but

As I'm sure you all know...

Why is it that we seem to forget exactly how painful it is, until we are ass deep in boxes?!?!

I hate it more than anything.... well, perhaps no more than cold showers, or asparagus... or stubbing my toe... but you get my point.

So my darling flatmate thought it was a fantastic idea to go out on Friday night of debauchery and not return home until 8am on Saturday.
Great idea dickhead. She was supposed to move all of her stuff on Saturday, do you think I was surprised when she didn't show?!!?

This of course meant that I couldn't begin cleaning or even vacuuming before she did so (which happened to be about 3pm Sunday - we had to hand in the keys first thing Monday) as I was scheduled to move my crap Sunday morning.

NIGHTMARE!!!

I'm completely exhausted and mildly pissed off... but life goes on... 45 minutes away at my Dad's place.

My daily commute has increased from 20 minutes to 1 hour.

This makes me angry.

I get welcomed home by my crazy, loving, spastic dog everyday.

This makes me happy.

The shower is gross and I have no space to shave my legs.

This makes me angry.

Everything is cheaper the further you get away from the city - groceries, manicures, clothes ect.

This makes me happy.

There are spiders and roaches and generally lots of creepy crawly things.

This makes me angry.

Dad has 155 channels on his TV cable.

This makes me happy.

And finally, my whole family (Dad, Uncle, Aunty, Cousins) came to help me move my crap and made a banner for me when I got back to the house saying "Welcome Home Emma!!!"

How fucking gorgeous is that.

I'm happy I have such an incredible family who I will get to spend more time with.
Happy I get to be a part of it all.

I'm even more happy that the moving is over... for now.

What are you happy about today???

I'm back!

Hello to all my precious readers!!! All 4 of you!!!

Oh how I have missed you! You sexy things!!!

I'm back at work after a 2 week vacation and gee... did that two weeks fly by!!! Felt like I was only away from this shit hole for a total of two minutes!

Anyhoo, remember the dream house I moved into only about 5 months ago?!?!

We are moving.

It sucks, but I get paid for it so I can't complain too much.

Long story, short ---

The owner lives in Malaysia or Vietnam or some other fucking Sth East Asian country. They have a daughter who is I guess one of the thousands that come to Australia to study at university every year. They want her to live in our house. They are giving us $2K each to leave.

So there you have it, this weekend we are out. And I'm devastated. We did look for another place to live over the holidays but didn't find anything so I'm going back to stay with my Dad for a while. Ick!!! Stay tuned for some tales my friends... it ain't gonna be pretty.

Just touching base, will be back later for a real post.

In the mean time, check out why you should never call another woman's daughter "gutter trash":

Old Lady Gets Blasted


And another great reason why I love the Chaser boys so so so much!

Live Aussie interview gone sour.