Always read the instructions...

Why is it that men can never grasp this???

Flashback to last night, appoximately 7:30pm.

J had been to Ikea to pick up a bookcase at my request. I was extremely impressed that he did this in the first place, as we both have a most unhealthy phobia to Ikea. I generally flip out literally 3 seconds after walking in, and that's on a good day!

I was stuck at home, slaving over a hot stove while he was putting this together. Or at least attempting to...

In the beginning, from the kitchen, I could hear some hammering, some plastic rustling, some cardboard being moved.

10 minutes later I was hearing some faint swearing. The screw driver hit the wall. Some frustrated groans.

10 minutes after that, I was hearing a FIGHT.

A fight between J and the Ikea bookcase that consisted of J being tomato red in the face, swearing, sweating, kicking, punching and generally MURDERING my $200 Ikea bookcase.

We aren't going to Ikea again...

And I think I will replace the light bulbs and fix the bathroom tap on my own!

Do you know what I hate?

When people say "heart of hearts".
Eg. "I know in my heart of hearts that Howard Stern is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby"
What the fuck does it even mean?! Please somebody, enlighten me? Please.

When people say ASAP to me.
God help me, you fucking useless pratt, I will do it when I god damn feel like it, OK!

Never ending high temperature weather.
Look, I adore summer, even if it seems to be dragging along like Britney Spear's tits.
But seriously, it is so freakin hot, all day, every day. I miss being able to wear an outfit for longer than 3 hours.

Not having cable TV. (5 days & counting)
What is there left for me to watch you ask?!!? CSI, Law & Order, CSI, Law & Order. Fucking CSI & Law & Order!!!!! Over and over and over again!!!!!!

The fact that Matthew McCounahay still hasn't shown up on my doorstep and taken me away from this godforsaken place.
He better hurry up, cos if he keeps taking me for granted, he's going to lose me. Matt Damon is looking mighty fine these days.

Ex-boyfriend calling you up to tell you that they are engaged! Expecting you to succumb to a fit of jealous rage and beg him to take you back. Sure, I'm real jealous that she has to put up with your oversized ego and crooked dick.... forever. Idiot.

It's been a frustrating day.
That is all.

A sort of Anniversary

I have been so busy at work and moving house once again, that I didn't even notice that it's been 1 year since I started this shit blog.

I still enjoy writing (although I enjoy reading what you guy's have to say more) and adore the blogging pals I have made along the way.

Thanks to everyone who still visits me and listens to my dribble!
I adore you all!

YGF x

Poor Anna

I liked her. She was a guilty pleasure of mine. She made me laugh... and cringe. Always entertaining, even if for the wrong reasons.

Wrong way.... go back

Between my last post and this very second, can you believe that we are now living together.

LIVING TOGETHER.

I think I need to write it again.

LIVING TOGETHER.

What the fuck happened you ask?!?! I don't know...

It's actually quite complicated and long-winded. So I will give you the short version.

Me and T (ex-flatmate) apply for uber cool 2 bedroom apartment in great location with city views.
Me and T get accepted and offered the apartment.
T decides that it is well out of her price range, she didn't like the fucking carpet, blah blah fucking blah and literally fucks me over.
I'm stuck with a great place that I can't afford on my own, real estate agent breathing down my neck, Dad getting pissed off by my blonde hair clogging up vacumn cleaner.
I ask around and no-one else is looking for a share-house at the moment.
J comes to the rescue and signs the lease with me.
I'm thankful but scared out of my brain and still wondering how it happened.

It is something we have spoken about before, in happier times.
I never really expected it to happen.

I'm 24. I feel way to young for this.

If he thinks I'm ironing his business shirts he can fuck off.

The End.

P.S. One of these is on a two-bit tug boat to Melbourne from Texas. Hooray!!


By the way, if anyone else wants to send me a present, feel free.

Super F - Your very own YGF wedding survival kit will be on it's way to Kentucky, once I have settled in and when I find enough novelty toys shaped liked penis'.

PPS. It's not as exciting as you think!!! You naughty girl!

if he/she cant seem to be bothered with your feelings and only gets annoyed when you want to share them-
If he/she doesn't seem to want to spend time with you or cant seem to have enough space-
If he/she doesn't show or tell you that they love you-
If he/she does not make an effort...

it is not going to work.


Why has it taken me so long to realise this?! Why do I exhaust myself trying?!
Why am I now completely drained of any emotional energy?!

I still don't know.